Feb 19, 2012

SPOOF-OFF THE RECORD

This is a blog absolutely created as a Spoof which can be trashed if it dosen't need to deserve a reading.  I have included some leading Journalist Pictures only to decorate this blog,

Introduction on the Content : Chief in Editor of an Electronic Media  Interviewing  an unidentified Media Baron  in an undisclosed location, inside a dark room.  The Media Baron does not want to be identified or to be disclosed and hence requested all the details would be "OFF THE RECORD".

Lets Roll
Chief in Editor- BARNAB ASAMY         8FMHJ6F4HHHA
Good evening Ladies and Gentleman NOWTIMES is the first channel today @8:58 to be precise in the boring hours breaking the exclusive news . We are the first to have an Interview with the MEDIA BARON known for his close Proximity with the many Politicians was magnanimous enough to talk with us.

BA- Good Evening Sir! This has been a surprise being in Media why would you choose to talk to us in the first place .
Since this is OFF THE RECORD you could rather address me as OTR (OFF THE RECORD), coming back to your first question despite this is Confidential only to few MEDIA MORONS,
BA- Sir Media Baron   
OTR- I usually hear people calling us Morons in the Social Media so I would rather stick with Moron yet as a duty bound person somehow I wanted this Information circulated out of my head so I could be in a little peace.
BA- Yes Sir I could sense that can you tell me why few Media People alone were invited for the breakfast by this leader- 
OTR- I strongly object to the word Invite we were Summoned by Upcoming Leader of the ruling Party.
BA- What was the discussion about  
OTR- The Leader was pretty unhappy the way  things went in the first three Phase of the elections and he wasnt happy either with our performance as well.
BA- Was he not happy with all the Media or you in particular
OTR- I cannot talk about others but he was very specific about 2 of us , Iam not going to name either of the channel, however I can hint the other channel works 1x24 .
BA- How did the meeting Start with
OTR- Well we were served with Half a cup of Tea and a few Buiscuits.
BA- What was he upset about could you be more specific.
OTR- Before I go any further I would like to first tell you that we Morons were surprised by his knowledge, Intelligence and Media Tricks even we in the Profession as Media Crooks had not thought of. On he being Upset he has given a list which Iam not entitled to reveal.
BA- Any new Strategy worked out?
OTR- As this is OTR I cannot reveal much nevertheless we are seriously considering the following for immediate implementation
  1. Media will not Cover any other Leaders younger to him
  2. MEdia will also not cover anyother Leaders older to him
  3. There should be no Commercial breaks in between the coverage
  4. All present Rigged debate has to be much more refined.
BA- I could understand the first 2 aspects but the 3rd one would it not have financial bearings on the House.
OTR- Well that is taken care of with a slight adjustments from G scam
BA- What do you mean by G Scam
OTR - Iam no fool to give you details all I can say is we get a share of this G-Scam  which is preceded by a number. As far the other channel 1x24 they would get a share from WG scam and now dont ask me any numbers precede the WG  it aint preceded by number but by a letter.
BA- So the two channels have an agreement to safe guard the financial implications.
OTR- What is this rigged debate
BA- Ususally we call one Person from the Opposition and gang him up against 3 or 4 members of the Ruling  Party or People who support the ruling parties they may be Journalist,NGO or Religious Head . We would always see that Opposition representative is given less time and more time is given to people who are prone to speak longer time even if they dont make sense.
BA- Can you name some of them
OTR- Of course not we two channels have these set of people at any given point of time for debates and make criticism alone. 
BA- Atleast you can tell us about them and their ability if not their names.
OTR- In the ruling Party we have a Lady leader who comes from Telugu speaking State and Iam not going to name the State, she is almost there everyday and she is too good in moaning, groaning, laughing aloud and she has an excellent ability of non stop speeches even when others speak. There are few other journalist who have to fend themselves for living also find a place in the panel, Some of them were sacked Journalist others are aspiring to become Rajyasabha Members, we also have Muslim Crusaders on Show who could go on shouting and even hitting themselves. So this Unique Panel will give little or no Opportunity to the Opponent representative. Our Anchors are well trained as and when the Opposition member tries to get to his/her point Anchor just barges in with standard "Park in your comments" and move to the other Panelist.
BA- We also find the audience asking questions?
OTR-All these Audiences are handpicked and their questions are allowed only after prior approval.
BA- How are you going to refine this already rigged debate
OTR- We are going to Identify Opposition Member who is as similar to the Executive who does not open his mouth at all.
BA- I do find an air of cynicism when the other Channel 1x24 is mentioned why is it anything we ought to know
OTR- Both of us come from the same Shit of thought sorry Same School of thought but the other channel has managed to get its Person as a Media Advisory to the Executive despite both of us rendering equal service to the Ruling Govt.
BA- Whats your plan of Action
OTR- In fact I have submitted my proposal to another second line leader and is likely to be accepted
BA- What could be the proposal
OTR- OFF THE RECORD  I could tell you the leader has accepted the Name I had proposed to be inducted as MEdia Advisory to the Outgoing Chief Minister of Goa.
BA- So you have decided you are not gonna win the Goa election atleast throw us the hint the person you are proposing
OTR- All I can say is she is part of my  network , she likes Gin and she is married to an Ugly Indian, She should have no problem in switching from Gim to Fenny and Iam not going to give  you her name.
BA-Is there any othe reason for your cynicism against 1x24
OTR- honestly yes you might remember the leaked tape to the  LOOKOUT Magazine, everyone talks about BUTT when it comes to the tapes ,though my conversation is also there Iam not getting my due despite my Voice Modulation and clarity was much better than Butt. 
BA- Can I ask you about your Friend in the Ruling Party
OTR- Oh you mean Vijaypig Singh yes Iam very close to him, he also has an aspiration to become PM and if he becomes PM I canassure you that I would be the Media Advisor for him.
BA-Why do you like him
OTR- He is the only Person in Congress who dosent change his stance he is always consistent in his answers unlike other leaders.
BA- How and what do you mean
OTR- Ask a few questions I would prove it to you
BA - Imagine Iam asking him what would be the out come of the UP Poll what would be his answer.
OTR-There is sinister hand of RSS , Sangh joining hands with BJP are behind this UP Poll
BA- Oh you did not get my question ? let me ask you a different one when are the Reforms likely to be tabled? this questioned if posed to your friend what would be his answer
OTR- There is a sinsiter move of RSS,Sangh along with BJP asking the Govt RKXKNY3Q8V7A 
BA- Okay Stop I got that
OTR-Did I not tell you he is always consistent with his answers immaterial to different questions.
BA-How do see the future of your Media Growing in the coming years
OTR= We have an excellent road map till 2014 and then on we might start diversifying our activities.
BA- Sir with all humbleness can you tell me what is FOURTH ESTATE
OTR-I have heard Tea Estate, coffee, Cardamom but Iam not sure i have ever heard the fourth one, 
BA-Honesty, Ethical, Unbiased, Undistorted, Timely do they have any bearing in the Media
OTR- All those words I have heard it somewhere It rings me bell but just cant recollect it
BA- Your Closing Comments Sir,
OTR- Well being in Media I request every citizen who wants to vote for the ruling party please come out and vote as far as others you might as well do not come out . Viva Italia

BA- Dear Viewers we had seen this explosive Interview, the person has mentioned many  in the course but was highly intelligent enough not to Name any one of them ,but NOWTIMES will go deeper into the story until we get to the bottom of all the names no matter what it takes no matter what opposition we get we will get you the names until then Its Barnab Goodnight.






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